On recruiting slaves, submissives or servants for your household

At the last “Fundamentals of Mastery” workshop, a question raised was that of how to recruit slaves, submissives or servants for your M/s household.

In our household, we use a pretty elaborate process. It incorporates the following steps:

  • Determine who we are looking for (i.e. specific service goals/tasks, identify key competencies, general qualities and characteristics to be a good fit for the household)
  • Determine where to look (i.e. online, real-life, elsewhere): Real-life is by far the most effective approach as you get to meet people in a more natural setting. For example, this includes meetings, conferences, networking events, community events, charity events, public dungeons, private parties, referrals
  • Email exchanges: We use this just in the beginning, and move to phone or real-life as quickly as possible if we recognize that the candidate is serious
  • Phone calls: We have several phone calls with the candidate before setting up an in-person meeting
  • In person meetings in public settings: This is typically a casual, yet focused conversation / interview
  • Questionnaire: It is important to have the candidate put certain things in writing. The questionnaire we use cover similar areas like @Sir_Stephen’s (see the discussion here)
  • If after a number of interactions (phone calls, in person meetings, questionnaire) we feel mutually comfortable, we invite the candidate for three different service opportunities. These are set up with the understanding that there might not be a continuation
  • Evaluation: After the initial service opportunities, we sit down together with the candidate and discuss how things worked out. We also discuss the experiences within our household, and decide on next steps to take. Key questions here to ask include: Is there a personal connection?, How do/would they fit in?, What would their role be?, Would they be happy in the household?, etc.
  • Onboarding: if the candidate is accepted we determine upon an onboarding process that is specific to their background, personality, skill set, what they are looking for, etc.

In regards to online ads, candidates often misunderstand, or misinterpret (in their own favor!) them. During phone calls and in person meetings it is therefore important to (a) reiterate what you ARE looking for, and (b) reiterate what you ARE NOT looking for. For example, if you are looking for just service you may want to say “This is a service position. We are not looking for a sex or play partner.” several times throughout the process.

When we look for people for our household, we do not discriminate based on age, sex, sexual identification, or fetishes, etc. Over the years we have had (and still have!) people in service to us that were (are) (a) both much younger and much older than ourselves, (b) heterosexual/homosexual/transsexual, and (c) CDs/TVs/sissy maids, etc.

We make sure to ask if an applicant has particular fetishes and sexual/BDSM activities, etc. that they feel are absolutely essential (real needs) for them to be happy in our household. If we are not able to accommodate their needs, then they are not going to be happy in our household. At the same time, we also ask if there are any that they reserve the right to refuse.

In the end, for us it comes down to the personal connection, personality, how they fit in to our household, and whether we can provide them with the right personal growth and opportunities. It is a mutual decision – we want people to be happy in our household. How else will they remain in service?

The top mistakes that I see occurring when people recruit new household members are:

  • Not knowing what you are looking for
  • Not fully explaining to the applicant what you are looking for
  • Inadequate preparation for the interviews (in person or phone call)
  • Poor selection of interviewing questions
  • Using only one interviewer, and/or conducting just one interview
  • Bringing someone onboard to quickly
  • Not asking for or checking references/background

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