Fcuk wtih the Mnid: Canghnig Rlaeity Torhugh Haed Gemas
Mind fuck is a form of consensual play where the top convinces and/or persuades the bottom to believe that they are doing something they are not. In other words, it constitutes physical and/or psychological manipulation that intentionally changes the reality experienced by the bottom. That’s right, a mind fuck creates an illusion in the mind of the bottom that, at least temporarily, they believe is absolutely real. The most common elements in minds fucks include fear, confusion, degradation, humiliation and unpredictability.
Why do I like them? The short answer is: They can be a lot of fun, both for the top and the bottom. For the long answer, continue reading…
Mind fucks provide a safe way to play out fantasies that otherwise might be too risky to do in real life, or that could cause permanent marks or damage. I invite you to think about your favorite “unrealistic” fantasy. (Yes, that one, you sick little bastard!) It might be too dangerous to play out in real life, right? But you might be able to play out this fantasy in the context of a mind fuck.
While I have not applied mind fucks in this way, they can also facilitate building a deeper bond between top and bottom. For example, they can be used to guide the bottom into a healthy and therapeutic exploration of their fears, doubts and other weaknesses. Naturally, after everything is said and done, the goal here is to make them to feel stronger than before.
For me, there are two different forms of mind fucks: (1) mind fucks that serve to enhance regular S&M, and (2) mind fucks for their own sake.
How can mind fucks be incorporated into regular S&M? For instance, unknowingly to the bottom you introduce fake blood into a whipping or knife scene. In this way, you can make them believe that they are being more severely beaten or cut. Played out right, this can provide for a very shocking experience for the bottom.
You can bring the fear level in an S&M scene to a higher level with mind fucks. Here is an example. Suppose that your bottom is really afraid of electricity play, but they have consented to mind fucks. After sensually tying them up with rope and thereby bringing them into a lighter subspace, you blindfold them with a scarf. You now change the dynamics of the scene by saying: “I restrained you so you cannot move. And, I blindfolded you so that you cannot see. You are subject to my control, to my will. Of course, you can still hear and that’s what we will focus on now. I’d like you to carefully listen and tell me what you can hear…” You then proceed by buzzing a cattle prod (or stun gun) near them. No, don’t touch them with it, you don’t have to. The sound is suggestive enough to create intense fear. “What is that sound?” Let them answer. Have them listen again. Then just touch them with your finger. Most likely they will squirm in their bonds. You get the idea; you can play this out to a very intense level, building a tremendous amount of fear (even if you are a never touching them with the toy).
Blindfolds are one of the best tools of the mind fucking trade. Some other examples include:
- Making the bottom believe a lot of people are around them, or even using or playing with them (gang-bang etc.). For a bottom who is a slut, this can be a mind blowing (excuse the pun!) orgy.
- The classic “leave the apartment” or “walk out” mind fuck.
Some of my favorite mind fucks for their own sake have been based on the theme of Russian roulette. No, you don’t need to do this with a gun (and remember that playing with guns is illegal in most states). There are many ways in which you can create the same dynamic and experience.
Here’s one example. Using a newspaper you create three rolls, slipping a sharp knife into one of them. That’s right, now you have the bottom choose one roll at a time. Each chosen roll is stabbed into their chest. As the top, you of course have to orchestrate this in such a way that while they think they may get stabbed by the real knife at some point, they don’t.
Or, how about this one? You show your bottom five envelopes, telling them four have protein powder and the fifth has a laxative. You now use a “fair” selection procedure that makes them believe they end up with the laxative. The powder is mixed with the soft drink which the bottom subsequently drinks. For the next 12 hours your bottom will be pondering whether they really got the laxative or not… (You of course explained to them that most laxatives do not start working until after about 10-12 hours.) Here, you have a mind fuck that extends out over a longer period. Whether you give them the real laxative or not is up to you. This is really fun deception and psychological play.
How about a mind fuck that involves the bottom being the target for your blowgun? The fascinating aspect of this mind fuck is that you don’t even need to shoot a single blow dart at them to instill tremendous fear. Pretty evil, right?
We have explored a few examples of mind fucks. These provide a good idea of how mind fucks are created. Here are a few general tips to consider when you are planning your mind fucks:
Know your bottom well. The more you know about someone, the more effective you can be in deceiving them. Obtain answers to questions such as: What do they like/dislike? What are their fears? What are their fantasies? What do they think about life and death? What are their phobias?
Suggestions create deception. The core of suggestion is to build expectation. A bottom sees what they expect to see, and they experience what they expect to experience. For example, if they expect to get cut with a knife, that’s what they’re going to think is happening when you’re just sliding a cold butter knife across their back.
Time and conditioning. More profound mind fucks are built up over time and incorporate “convincers” that set the bottom’s expectations. For example, two weeks prior to the actual mind fuck you have a discussion with your bottom about their blood type. When asked “why do you want to know this?” You reply “I’m just curious.” Maybe five days prior, the bottom “accidentally” discovers a purchase receipt for spinal epidural needles. You of course deny the purchase and that you would use it on a human. Little details like these are very important, yet should not be overdone. Minor mind fucks require one convincer. For more extensive ones, 2-3 are often enough.
Remember that if you repeatedly do mind fucks with the same person, some of them need to be brought to completion for them to believe you in the future.
As a large part of a mind fuck plays out in our minds (and thereby our memories), if you’re seriously interested in doing this formal play I recommend that you learn more about Daniel Schacter’s “The Seven Sins of Memory: How the Mind Forgets and Remembers.” In this work he explores memory biases and imperfections we all experience:
- Transience: Decreasing accessibility of memory over time. It is natural to forget the details of a particular happening over time.
- Absentmindedness: Lapses of attention that result in forgetting. An example of this situation is when you forget where you put your car keys at home.
- Blocking: Information is present but temporary accessible. This includes the “tip-of-the-tongue” syndrome.
- Misattribution: Memories are attributed to an incorrect source. For instance, you may be confusing a dream with an actual experience.
- Suggestibility: Implanted memories about things that never occurred. Leading questions can easily produce false memories.
- Bias: Current knowledge and beliefs distort our memories of the past. Recalling past attitudes in line with current attitudes.
- Persistency: Unwanted recollections that we can never forget. This includes traumatic war memories.
We can think about the first three as “sins of forgetting.” The following three are “sins of commission,” i.e. instances where memory is present but wrong. A good understanding of these is very useful when constructing mind fucks. In particular, suggestions, convincers, and conditioning (that we discussed above) rely to a large extent on these three.
It’s important to be aware of the risks inherent in mind fucks. I do not suggest that you use them for casual play. Mind fucks have the potential to severely harm to the bottom psychologically by hitting emotional triggers, stirring up bad memories from the past, or instilling new insecurities and fears. Remember, the harmful effects of psychological play can be far more damaging and longer lasting than physical scenes. You can severely damage a relationship by subjecting them to inappropriate mind fucks. So how do you prevent this from happening? Here are a few important points to remember:
- Safe word: As with any form of S&M play, agree on a safe word
- Only play with safe, sane and consensual adults. That’s right, the bottom needs to have previously consented to mind fucks. No, that does not take the element of surprise away. They still don’t know what, how and when it is going to happen.
- Negotiate and agree upon limits/boundaries and likes/dislikes: Although mind fucks are intended to push boundaries, negotiated and agreed upon limits and boundaries should never be overstepped. For an instance, if someone has a phobia for insects and has explicitly communicated that their phobia is off-limits, putting an actual insect on them is abuse of trust. Telling them you have an insect in small box on the nearby dining table while they are blindfolded can be a mind fuck.
- Aftercare is very important. Reassure the person is coming back with no physical or mental harm.
- Build trust with your bottom and take precautions to minimize any negative effects. This takes time. Therefore, don’t perform more extensive mind fucks with casual partners – save them for your regular play partners.
- If something goes wrong stop immediately and explain what is going on. Make sure you are able to differentiate their regular body reactions from processing fear from reactions of panic (heavy breathing, heart beating very fast).
In the appropriate situation and with the right person, mind fucks can be extremely intense and hot. Physical bondage controls their body. Psychological play can control their mind. But beware that this is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some just enjoy a nice cup of good old vanilla tea.
In closing, I leave you with a quote from by S.H. Sharpe that sums up the power of a good mind fuck: “We see with our mind as much as with our eyes.” But by now I am sure you already see this in your mind. Isn’t that so?